Mastering the art of “Serve & Return” in conversations with your children is the best parenting practice you can do to connection and skills.
‘Serve and return’ is the responsive way in which you engage with your child. The back and forth where you listen and respond to each other.
Even if your child is preverbal, you do this… just use facial expressions and gestures.
These conversations help children learn:
- Social skills – How to connect with another person by reading and responding to social cues.
- Executive function skills – How to focus and take turns. They learn how to pause, let someone else say something, listen to that person, and THEN respond.
- Language skills – A conversation puts words in context. This is a very effective way to teach new words… a much teaching tool than flashcards.
- Thinking skills – If you’re having a conversation, you’re asking questions, sharing information, or exploring ideas. In other words, you are THINKING.
- Confidence – They share their thoughts, you listen, and then share your own. This back and forth makes a child feel heard and engaged with. They have the opportunity to try out their own ideas in a safe and secure space.
Not sure what to say? Try these conversation starters:
How did you figure that out?
Why do you think ( …that happened? …they did that? …there is so much traffic? …Zoey was so upset?)
What do you think would happen if…?
Like the name suggests, see if you can make the conversation like a tennis game… serve, return, and then volley a few times. (For those of you that don’t know tennis, that just means keep hitting the ball back and forth!)
Game, Set, Match
These kinds of conversations are so powerful in all that they build in your child. The best part: you don’t need to prepare or buy anything, you can do them anywhere, and they don’t take up any extra time!