If they like it, you like it too (or so they think!)

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We think a lot about how our children feel and how they can process and express their own emotions. But there’s another part of that conversation: understanding how OTHER people feel.

This is something children have to LEARN – that other people’s minds might think differently from my own. They spend their first few years believing that anything they know, or like or dislike is the same that everyone else knows, likes or dislikes.

A classic experiment is to show a child a box that looks like it will have crayons in it, but when it is opened, there are actually paper clips inside. Well, that’s unexpected! They know the secret of the box, and until they are about 4 yrs old, they will assume that everyone else knows the secret too.

It takes some neurological development to get to the point of understanding that people can believe something differently than you do. But it also takes experience, and that’s where you can come in… Helping them get them out of their own heads and to start thinking about how other people’s minds work:

• When you are reading or watching a video, talk about how the characters are feeling and why they are feeling that way. This doesn’t have to be super heavy; it could be something as simple as asking ‘how do you think Corduroy feels’ when Lisa picks him off the shelf in the classic book.
• Encourage pretend play, which is almost literally living in someone else’s shoes for a moment.
• Talk about other people’s – or your own – emotions with them. Hmmm, that person may have been rude and cranky because there he had to deal with so many customers at once. Or I wonder what was so funny that made that person laugh so hard.

Being able to see another person’s perspective, is one of the most essential elements to being a part of the human experience. It’s how we learn to share, how we learn to be empathetic, and how we can better manage conflict.

(Hmmmm… maybe this is something LOTS of us – not just little kids – need to learn how to do!)

A Square IS a Rectangle… Really!

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(Even Cheez-its)

Are Cheez-it crackers squares or rectangles? That’s the question being asked on Tik Tok. But here’s a little secret that you may not know: A square is actually a rectangle.

That’s because a square IS a rectangle.

MIND. BLOWN.

Here’s the controversy on Tik Tok: You look at a Cheez-it cracker and you it looks like it has 4 equal sides, which would make it a square. In the video, this guy measures the crackers and finds out that, in fact, two sides are just a little bit bigger than the other sides, so he says they are ‘rectangles.’ 

But…

Tik Tok is RIGHT… for the WRONG reasons

They’re wrong because a square is a rectangle.

Wait… What?!

By definition, a rectangle is a shape with 4 straight sides & 4 right angles. A square has 4 straight sides and 4 right angles.

So… a SQUARE IS A RECTANGLE. Squares are SPECIAL kinds of rectangles because their sides are all equal length.

You’ve been taught this wrong your whole life

But wait a minute, isn’t a rectangle a shape with 2 long sides and 2 short sides? No… but that’s how we were all taught as young kids. And it’s likely how your kids are being taught. Take a look at any shape book your child has and here’s what you’ll probably see: Rectangles that look like doors or truck trailers… Never a square.

We teach kids to MATCH shapes based on what they LOOK LIKE. They are never taught to talk about what really makes a shape… what are a shape’s properties.

What’s the big deal?

Why do we care about talking about shape properties with preschoolers? Can’t this conversation wait until middle or high school geometry? 3 reasons:

• Accuracy is important: Why should we start off teaching them the WRONG information that they have to re-learn down the road?
• They can recognize a shape when it doesn’t look like an ‘iconical’ version from a book. Take triangles. The basic triangle in a shape book looks like a pyramid or a boat sail. You may see an upside down version, like an ice cream cone. But triangles can also be super skinny. Or super skinny AND upside down. They’re still triangles. And if you can get your child to talk about what makes a triangle instead of what looks like a triangle, they’ll be able to understand that.
• Talking about shapes like this is WAY more fun. They can look for these properties, like right angles, or straight or parallel lines (and yes, they can play with parallel lines!), and then test to see if the shape meets all the requirements.

The TINY ways you can help build their early geometry skills

The next time you are on a walk or in a store, see what shapes your kids can find… while focusing on shape properties.

Ask can you find a Rectangle, Square (which you now know is a special kind of rectangle!), Triangle, Circle. And then – and this is the magic question! – ask them ‘how do they know’ it’s that shape.

Ask them if they can find a shape with certain properties – can you find a shape with 4 right angles or 3 straight lines – and then see if they can figure out what the shape is.

Use their natural curiosity to play with and explore math ideas as a way to introduce early geometry. They’ll learn to THINK about math, not just memorize it… which is the first step in keeping them interested in it!

Why ‘Baby Talk’ is anything but silly

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We all do it when we talk to a baby. 

We get all up in their face. Our eyes & mouth open really wide. Everything we say is verrrry slow & drawn out, & we use this sing-song tone that makes us sound, well, let’s be honest, kind of silly.

It feels ridiculous & yet natural, like we just can’t help but do it. And we probably can’t, because we seem to be wired to talk this way to babies. That is because babies use this kind of talk as a way to learn how language works. 

Spoken languages are a bunch of sounds put together to make words, which are then put together to communicate something. Babies come into the world having to figure this out. They get here & all they hear is a sea of sounds, no idea where words begin or end. They can’t learn what a word means without first finding that word in the middle of all that noise. Think about when you hear a language that you are totally unfamiliar with. Try finding the words in that stream of talking. At most, you might be able to fins the beginning & ending of sentences, but that probably comes from a lifetime of experience communicating with other people. Babies don’t have that experience. So they need us… & they need that goofy baby talk.

Here’s why: When we make our faces all weird, we hold their attention. That slow, sing-song talking is designed to help them start to learn the sound patterns that make up words. Eventually, they are able to do a pretty sophisticated statistical analyses of sounds & can tell when sounds go together & when they don’t. (They learn, for example, that the ‘TH’ sound is likely to be followed by a vowel sound & not a consonant.) Once they can break down these mechanics, they can focus on learning the meaning behind those sounds.

You probably had no idea that you were teaching language when you were getting all silly with babies… it’s just what you do. Understanding the science behind how children learn can help you know the ‘why’ behind the development process & the role you play. And then perhaps you make tiny adjustments in your interactions… like putting down the cell phone when you are with your baby because you know how much they learn in a face to face moment.